Coward

No chance, no choice.

Everyone is striving, on some purposes,

but me...just facing the computer,

browsing facebook,

playing online game,

watching comic, TV series,

reading English book,

and what?

never do somethings for my dreams right?

Last day, stay at my cousins' home,

gotta leave...

They hate me, everyone....

i hope someone there, can push me out...

from the deepest dark...

Question, Fury, Scare, Fate,

all of that, is around me,

I'm scared, afraid, of my future...

I know I won't give up to live,

but I want.....

All of you are so positive,

but me...is opposite...

I'm too negative, bcoz I'm coward...

This is always the part I want to change,

the part i can't change but i want....

I need someone to help me,

If not, I die.

The end of world,

that is what I didn't want it to happen,

and that is what I'm expected now.

You know what,

how hard to keep it working,

as a boy, i should have some courage,

as a human, i should strive to live in this world,

i'm nothing, not boy not human, is a freak..

Nobody understand, coz i don't want tell them,

they won't take care about me at my place even if i tell them,

including me, i do not know the feeling they're having,

bcoz i always stay in my circle, my castle,

i will never get out from here, never.

i have not been seeing the sky for a long time,

i forgot how blue it is, how far it is, and how beautiful it is.

I would never let you go, this word, never achieve.

i'm dying, really, i feel some power is absorbing my soul, my feeling, and humanity.

maybe someday, i will become a terrible murderer.